Monday, December 13, 2004

New Blog!

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Saturday, December 11, 2004

Still Drinkin'



All silliness aside, I'm still doing this crazy project. I'm so sick of drinking pop. I want a glass of water in the worse way. When im in the shower I catch myself washing my face Multiple times. Its such a tease..

This morning I weighed myself, I'm at 185 pounds.. the weight continues to add.

I licked a stamp yesterday and it sizzled from caffeination.

I'm afraid to have sex.. I keep thinking that my over caffeinated sperm would blow a hole through the back of the girls head.

When I go up the stairs to my apartment I feel like a shaken can of pop..I have to sit down and burp for a few minutes.

My armpit is still clogged, and it itches like crazy.




Friday, December 10, 2004

To Kill a Mocainebird

So last night Lindsay ended up doing most of the mocaine she brought over. I just finished my last 2 liter, and decided to skip the mocaine for health reasons. Mocaine's (which is mushrooms and cocaine grounded together) buzz starts off with a sudden burst of energy, followed by an intense trip. Its like talking to Jesus while skydiving... but Jesus is strapped to your back, and you feel kind of gay.

So Lindsay immediately started talking about her new cd. I started to feel violently ill from all the pepsi spice I had drank. Lindsay (skydiving with Jesus) thought I was making fun of her music when I was complaining of feeling ill. I told her over 42 times it was from drinking too much Pepsi Spice, but she wouldn't listen. She started screaming at me, so I did what most fashion designers would do. I listened.

She said that Pepsi had paid for the new cd. It was a silent donation to produce her album, and create her new "product". She was to become a music star, and Pepsi would pay for it all. In return Pepsi would be given full use of her in future marketing.. Lindsay said they did it with Britney, Justin, and even Hoobastank. Unfortunately, Hoobastank was passed down to the RC cola corporation with huge a financial loss for Pepsi. RC reportedly "shelved" the use of Hoobastank for the time being.

Lindsay said there was extreme pressure from Pepsi to succeed.

Thats when I put it all together.. Lindsay coming to me out of the blue to design clothing for animal charities wasn't just a fluke, it was planned. Pepsi sent her.

I talked to Lindsay for about five hours.. she had alot of mocaine, and I was high on spice and confusion. She told me that Stacy was paid by his friend and president of Javalamps design group, Douglas Stanhope. Javalamps was a young company, but with one huge client, Pepsico. They paid Stacy so I would take his $1000 bet. They thought it would be a clever way to market their new cola, a underground urban way. Make a website with a goofy fashion designer drinking Pepsi Spice for 45 days.. what they didn't factor in, was me becoming sick. The Fox news interview wasn't a fluke either, it was also set up so they could deliver me free Pepsi Spice and market the product on network television. I guess most of FOX news now is one form of product placement or another, mostly laxative and paper companies. The CNN interview on the other hand, just picked up the story because they saw me on Fox.

They sent Lindsay to me, so I would write about her, so people would talk about my site.. so people would talk about Pepsi Spice, and even talk about Lindsay Lohan.

She let me squeeze her tits for awhile, and then I asked Lindsay to leave.

Pepsico.....

I know about everything!.. I thought it was odd when Stacy bet me to drink Pepsi Spice for 45 days, and then designed this website for me, and gave me a domain name that should of been taken. But im going to win that bet, and im not going to lie about any of my horrible results... Thats right Pepsi, Stacy, and FOX news.. I will continue this experiment... till death do me part.

LET THE PEOPLE KNOW!!!



Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Lindsay Says Hi

Lindsay is over and she is helping me drink my 10th (2) liter.. She ended up coming to LA for the day.

Lindsay brought over some Mocaine, so it should be a long night.

Today was Wacky Wednesday, where I have to drink 10 (2)liters.. So my heart might explode from the caffeine and the mocaine. I wish Linsay could stay the night, but she said her new boyfriend would get angry. I don't know what she sees in that Dell dude.. "Dude you got Dell".. I hate that prick, he's always crying about something.. maybe I will try to talk her into staying once she does some more mocaine.. I'm sure she's easy to trick, she's only 18.. maybe I can just download some "Gilmore Girls" episodes and get some chocolate... That should work... I'll let you know what happens next update.

Clogged Pit?

So I have been trying to work out to get rid of these pounds that have been adding on ever since I started this experiment.. Recently my left armpit had been itching like a Phish fan's crotch. We'll after working out today I noticed my left armpit was extremely itchy. It seems my pit pores have been clogged in my left armpit. I'm a sweaty man, if I bend over I start to sweat.. but not one drop from my left side. Has the Pepsi Holiday Spices made its way into my sweat pores?

Monday, December 06, 2004

Bow Wow gots me covered.

My tongue has started to blister, and my face has broken out in some nasty acne. The Pepsi Spice is making it hard to function in my everyday life. I'm just happy that the diarrhea has turned more into a soft serve ice cream than a vegetable soup. I stopped trying to make coffee with Pepsi Spice, because I think its ruining my coffee maker. The weight continues to add up, and today I spent the majority of the day shopping for new clothes. I started off in Hollywood, but I quickly found out that Hollywood doesn't do my new weight class.. not even John Goodman could find some new pants in Hollywood. I knew this new weight was only going to be temporary..so I guess some cheap disposable clothes would be better anyways.

So I went to Sears.

I bought three pairs of pants for $50. Amazing. I didn't even know Lil Bow Wow had a line of clothing. The pants have secret pockets in them, and on the cardboard advertising that's put on the back of the pocket says: "Need to hide your bones?, Bow Wow gots you covered". Only at Sears.

WEIGHT: 181
Pepsi Holiday Spice Consumed:
46 (12oz cans)
53.5 (2 liters)

Pepsi Spice Project Promotion Video!