Tuesday, November 30, 2004

I had to take my medication tonight



Last year a scientist said his study found that over 99% of the people surveyed had a older male relative teach them the wise knowledge; to never punch anything with your thumb inside of your fist. My father died in a horrible horrible plane accident, so horrible that I often say horrible twice. My Uncle and both grandfathers died by three separate cancers, all from the groin area, but only 3 months apart. I had about as much male influence in my family than a goth chick has clean smelling asshole. Which is none, negative.

So I was so angry because Lindsay Lohan was suppose to fly in and meet me to finalize our deal, but couldn't. She called me this afternoon, she was high on mocaine. Mocaine is mushrooms grounded up with cocaine. It speeds you up and throws you out.. a intense tounge from asshole to belly button, instantly. Mocaine is hawt here in the hills right now.. If you can find me a porn star that's not on mocaine, I will find a pat for your back. Lindsay has been mocaining it hard recently...So hard she's been skipping on our appointments.

I was so pissed, that I punched my cat by mistake..her claws digging deep into my inner thighs. I pulled up my pants and screamed like a girl. I had punched the cat with my thumb inside my fist. I think its broken.

Fuck Fuck Fuck.. I put Ice on it.. Ice made out of Pepsi Spice.. I bet that scientist only interviewed one person in that experiment, and that one person wasn't even 100% sure.

I can move my finger, I guess I just hurt it.. Keeping ice on it, then I most likely will drink the "Pepsi ice".

I LOST A POUND!



Time to buy some sweat pants.

Q & A

I have been getting about a 100 emails a day, so I better catch up...

Q: I saw you on CNN, and the reporter talked about your brother, why is he in jail?

A: He started a website and shortly after its launch he was arrested because of one of the videos he had on it. He had nothing to do with the making of the video, but still was thrown in jail. You can check out his website at: http://www.bluetorture.com it wont be updated till he gets out (if he decides to continue it), which hopefully will be next month.

Q: Its impossible to gain that much weight in such a short amount of time.

A: I agree, but its happening..Thanksgiving and a shitload of sugar...I don't know either..it fucking sucks.


Q: Are you cooking with Pepsi Spice also?

A: Well if its something that you add a liquid to, then yes.. Example: Mac N Cheese.. instead of milk I add Pepsi Spice.. but if its a steak, then no... but I might marinate it with Pepsi Spice just for fun.

Q: Has Pepsi tried to pay you to stop?

A: Hahahaha.. no. I think Pepsi should be happy that I made this project, even if some find it offensive.




Some news.. I guess later this week I will be interviewed on some talk radio show that will be broadcasted online, so I will put up a link later this week.

Today I farted roughly around 200 times.. no joke. I think something is starting to fail in my belly..peeing red should of been a early sign.. Since my girlfriend is no longer here to monitor my health, I will be going to the doctors once a week for a checkup.

Monday, November 29, 2004

Back on track

I always was a big fan of passing gas.. something about the relief and payout that makes for a satisfying sometimes unexpected treat. But, that was before the Pepsi Spice Project.. I have been passing more gas than a Chinese Phone Book, and its starting to effect my taste, everytime I eat something, it tastes a little bit farty. Now I know my last couple posts have been a tad odd, but I have an excuse for that.. let me explain.

A few days ago, me and my girlfriend got in a fight..and she left me without much reason except that she thought I was making fun of her fear of black people. Something I have always thought was stupid...but I guess when she was a kid a black woman molested her...and she tells me it wasn't very sexy or hot.

Like I explained a few days ago, I signed her up for a automatic wakeup call from a prerecorded rapper, Ice-T. Target offered it as a promotion for the day after Thanksgiving Shopping Day. She moved out, and as payback she bought me a robot, because she knows about my recent nightmares, and she thought it could be some kind of payback.

I joked about the robot on my blog, acting like it was combing my hair, just to show her it didn't really effect me.. but it has.. I put the robot in a storage shed Saturday night.

Anyways, a friend of mine is a plastic doctor.. he runs a trendy practice here in LA that I did some work for in the past... I created a robe for women after they had surgery. When you pay thousands of dollars on new breasts and you wakeup after surgery wearing a fabulous robe instead of a paper made joke of a robe..you feel better about your purchase...and it gives my friend the advantage over the other practices. My friend called me and we talked and I told him about my girlfriend leaving me, and how I have been having non-stop gas for the last 3 days.. He said he had the perfect cure; Medical Marijuana.

So I got this card that allows me to go to these stores here in LA and purchase marijuana legally to help me with my gas and depression problems.. but as you can tell it has also made my last couple of posts to be a bit strange...So decided to stop the marijuana for awhile and focus more on my experiment, and new ways to masturbate. A friend of mine told me that he used www.pillowhumper.com to overcome his wife leaving him.. I still haven't checked that out, but I heard it does wonders for depression.

So I guess I will have to live with the constant gas for awhile.. Leftovers are almost done, thank god.. I'm guessing old red turkey isn't helping my gas issues. Cream of mushroom soup is great with Pepsi Spice I have found.. I'm still gaining weight, I'm up to 177 pounds this morning..

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Update

Well, I have been a mess the last few days... I will try to have a full update Sunday. Also, just a FYI.. If you saw my interview on NBC4 here in LA yesterday, my nose had makeup on it to cover the redness, that's why it looked weird.


Pepsi Holiday Spice Consumed:
28 (12oz cans)
23.5 (2 liters)

Weight: 178
Health Effects Noted (If Any): Mild gas (more on that in the next update)

Saturday, November 27, 2004

The Pepsi Spice has taken over..

My nose is red from the constant sniffling and bleeding.

My ass puckers when someone talks too loud.

My stomach gurgles, wanting relief from the constant red dye and holiday spices.

My piss has turned red, and now its a fluorescent orange.

My girlfriend left me because of the Target corporation, and their nasty marketing campaign to have gangster rappers yell at you, WAKEUP!! before the discounts have expired!

I brought a robot into my home, something I have feared as a kid, something I still fear as adult. It pulls my hair, but it must be combed.

I think the Pepsi Spice has taken over.

My mind isn't what it once was... I fear the worse. My phone is ringing, but I don't care..I'm thirsty.

So thirsty.... I drew a photo, as I tried to call my X girlfriend one more time on the phone.

Fucking Target...

Fucking Pepsi Spice.

sigh.

>

Is my phone ringing or was I calling?

Thirsty.

Friday, November 26, 2004

Fuck Robots..

The robot pulled my hair, just like in my nightmares.. it hurts. I need to reprogram the robot, but im afraid i'm too weak from crying. It will have to wait.

Face my fears...

My girlfriend left me.. The Ice-T wakeup call from target scared her, and shes mad at me for making fun of her fear of black people. She packed up the car this morning and left. I thought it was a good time to face my own fears...so I bought a robot to comb my hair, while I cry..

Pepsi Spice cant help a broken heart.

Fuck You Ice-T!

Ice T, Fuck you buddy..

Ok, I don't know why I really thought it would be a good idea to sign my girlfriend up for a wakeup call this morning, but I did. Target has this promotion that you can go to http://www.target.com/wakeup and choose some B-List celebs to call and wake you up.. pre-recorded that is... My poor girlfriend had to work this morning, she woke up around 5am..so I thought it would make her laugh to have Ice-T call her at 5:15am.. Wrong..

First my girlfriend said she was shocked and scared.. the phone rang, and when she said hello I guess Ice-T started screaming at her to wake up..calling her names..like "weak ass"... she hung up on Ice-T.. I was sleeping so I didn't know what was going on.. For the next hour, which is normally the time where she drinks coffee and gets ready, she was shaking and scared.. she thought some angry black person was after her.

Thanks alot Target. Ya Dick... my girlfriend is leaving me, she has her car packed..I might have to put some alcohol in my Pepsi Spice today...im too angry to type.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Cooking with Spice


We poured 6 cans inside the bird..



The bird is red! But we must add more (added 1 more 2 liter)


Red!


"Red" Bean Casarole


Ultimate Spice Yam


Its as if this turkey had a aunt flo.

Free Ipod?

A few people have asked about a recent link I posted.. FREEIPODS.COM Well let me tell you its real, its legit.. I have received one from them already, and im working on a second one.. You pretty much sign up, complete one of their offers, cancel the offer, get 5 friends to do the same thing..few weeks later, free ipod. its easy... and its not a scam.

The blockbuster deal is the best deal, I actually liked it so much that im still a member of blockbuster.com..shit, $17 a month and im averaging about 5 movies a week.

/shameless plug

Happy Turkey Day

I will be cooking all Pepsi Spice Recipes today.. and I will try to have some photos of the day as soon as possible... I drank so much PHS today I think I might puke. I guess alot of people are intrested in my Half Life modeling days.. Before they gave me the role as main star of Half Life, I was someone else.. but that never made it past the editing room.. it was so weird shooting for that ad, they made me take off my shirt..and service the game testers.. Im glad they gave that role to that drama queen that does it now...

I would rather be Gordon, then the "gay faucet eye guy".

A letter from Mom..

(from snail mail)

Brian,

Your cousin said she saw you on the news while watching the Zenith. She said she saw you and your cola experiment. It doesn't sound like you are going to church. I have donated your sisters insurance money to the Jesus website I told you about last month


(My mom is addicted to this website: http://www.letsfindjesus.com , where this guy takes donations to improve the Jesus photo he has on display..it started off as a Jewish girl... now its at a gay black Jesus)

I think your sister will now have the strength to help Jesus more in Heaven. Have a good Thanksgiving, I wish you could come home.

Mom

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Rewind

I take that back...I dont feel 100% normal.. after updating my last post. Lindsay called me.. it scared me because its so late and the phone was so loud.. but she just got back from a rave and she wanted to talk.. I was so scared that I farted (something I always do when im scared or lonely), which made me shit my bed.. My girlfriend didnt wake up, so I took a magazine and pushed the shit on to her side of the bed so she would think she did it.. but the shit was wet so it just smeared it..so I tried to shit on the magazine so I could pour a little on her butt to make it more believable.. but when I shited the second time it was just pee coming out of my ass and it got on my laptop... so I guess I still have the shits and I need a new laptop...hopefully its just the power supply that sparked.

SUPER FAQ!

Q: Did you Die?


A: No, I have been real busy with
Lindsay, and work..


Q: You know a guy named Stacy? ...and you admit to being friends with him?


A: Stacy is not only a dear friend, he is a very successful man. Stacy is the guy that I wrote about in the FAQ of this website. He is the one who bet me $1000 to do this crazy test. Drinking only Pepsi Spice for 45 days may seem like a walk in the park to you.. but to me, its starting to be pure hell... I have been pissing red, and its not blood...it shouldn't even be possible to piss red...I have been shitting red.. again not blood....but yet all my tests say I should be fine. Stacy thinks its all very funny... but he also thinks cutting body parts out of magazines and photos and building celebrities out of them is funny. So funny Maxim magazine hired him to do just that. So next time you're on the shitter, spraying out some Pepsi Spice reading about what cell phone Tom Arnold bought at a garage sale in Maxim...and you see a Britney Spears picture, but its made out of monkeys lips and George Washington's eyes from the dollar bill... you will have seen Stacy's work. For my birthday last year he gave me a nice photo for my study. He signed the back.









I dont think it really looks like me, but I give him a "A" for effort for using one of his balls as my face... of course thats a more deluxe version of Stacy's work.. something he doesn't do for Maxim.. because Maxim doesn't ask.. If they need a Jessica Simpson by Tuesday... he gives them a quick 5 min job:


Hard life... But he always invites me to rad parties here in LA..so it does have its perks. We went to a party last night for the recent Seinfeld DVD release sponsored by Maxim, where me and that Kramer guy sat in a tickle chair together and was tied up and tickled by old black women in powdered wigs (very hawt party trend right now in LA). ...wait what was the question?


 


Q: What did the Doctors say?


A: Nothing much...they said not to eat fast food/greasy food... and to drink alot of water. wuhahah.. too bad I cant! Actually Stacy said he thinks im cheating by having ice cubes, so now all my ice cubes are made of Pepsi Spice.. So I might be getting more fucked up soon.


Q: Have you played Half Life 2, and will you sign my game?


A: I just got it, it kicks ass...its better then Doom 3.. and I look sexy in it. Sorry I cant sign your game, or I will get sued.. but if you want you can send me naked pictures of your girlfriend.


Q: Has Pepsi contacted you,?


A: I had one email, but im not sure if it was really from Pepsi or not.. I think it was spoofed.. or some employee from Pepsi is a comedian... he sent me a obviously photoshoped picture of that girl from Pepsi's commercials, with a note saying: "Your face looks like a sick penis".



Q: Besides health effects... have you had any other effects from the Pepsi Spice?


A: We'll I have been gaining some insane weight.. Im fatter then I have ever been.. Today I was 175.. I started at 153 for shit sakes!... I almost have a tummy!.. this is horrible.. also I have been having weird dreams...well even worse its the same dream over and over... When I was a kid I had a "Armatron" from Radio Shack..it was a robot arm that you could control with a little joystick.. I would always have it comb my hair.. I remember doing this as late as 5th grade.. because I was crying one night after being beat up by a school bully.. and while I cried with my head down in my arms..I would have my Armatron comb my hair... My dreams recently has been of a full robot.. but he is combing my hair so rough...and its pulling my hair out..it hurts.. but not tears come from my eyes..just blood...and then I shit my pants.. (in my dream that is...I have'nt shit myself in real life for a few days..).


Q: What is your relationship with the cable television channel G4TECHTV?


A: None really.. I did meet this guy that said he was in charge of g4.. He was at a bondage party..real gay guy.. he had a naked "Dirk" from Dragons Lair on his ass.. and I know this because he was wearing pants with the ass cheaks showing.... I talked to him because I also was waiting in line to get my nipples shocked and slapped with a horses tail.. we started talking and he said how they (g4) bought the cable channel; "TechTv".. thats all I can remember, because I stoped listening to him when he started talking about "changes".


Q: Are you really dating a girl... a girl without a penis?


A: My girl is a wonderful person.. she does have extended lips..but sorry she does not have a penis.




STATS:

Pepsi Holday Spice Consumed:
24 (12oz cans)
12.5 (2 liters)
Weight: 175 (buying new scale in morning just to make sure)
Health Effects Noted (If Any): Dreams of robots combing my hair, rash on neck

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Im not dead...

Just a quick update.. im not dead. I will have a huge update late tonight on the last two days. I also would like to note that Lindsay Lohan was not aware of the illegal Mexican labor I talked about a few days ago.. She was told it was 100% legit.. which it was (wink wink) I take full blame for any anger. Sorry Lindsay, call me.

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Sunday...

Last month, actress Lindsay Lohan's business partner came to me about doing a line of clothing for an animal charity event here in LA. I guess Lindsay wanted to donate a few designs with her name on it, to a company that's profits go mostly to animal rescue and care...This company will then take my designs and mass produce them and sell them to places like Petco..but with Lindsay Lohan's name and logo on them.. this is called rebranding in the fashion world. Most of the clothing you buy is rebranded.. Some companies I rebranded for even make me sign contracts so I couldn't even tell you what I designed for them..(there is a reason why Coach's wallets are almost the same price as their purses..wink wink) Anyways.. one of the designs for Lindsay is a line of "Kitty Capris"..I showed her my designs over lunch recently and she loved them!.. today her business partner called me and said that Lindsay will have to cancel the designs because the charity company that was going to use and produce them changed their mind.. a fellow designer friend of mine heard from the grapevine that the company thinks Lindsay's image has become too trashy as of recently.

So I thought I would help Lindsay out..In LA they have these things called "speed shacks".. they are like sweat shops, but without kids.. each speed shack has about 50 mexicans in a small underground room.. you give them the material and the design, and they pump out enough units in a few hours for your first run.. Lindsay told me to do it, so today I spent all day at the speed shack. My desk faced the workers so I slipped on my Ipod and zoned out for a few hours..

One of the workers, I think his name was Hiram or something like that, was in charge of all the other workers.. like a manager. He was a total ass.. he would go up and down the isles and hover over a workers back.. breathing down their neck. I didn't know if one the ladies was his girlfriend or what but I saw him grab her breast from behind and push his crotch on her back.. She was big and fat, so I didn't question his actions or try to help her. Actually none of the female workers were really that hot.. A illegal alien speed shack worker is a safe bet when it comes to some sexual harassment I guess..but I controlled my own urges.

The girl on the right is the one Hiram kept harassing... I found out later he wasn't dating her.



The run was finished and they are ready to be shown to the charity. As soon as I hear back from Lindsay I will post some photos and where to purchase them.

I felt good today, my neck cyst isn't swollen as much as it was yesterday.. now it looks more like a rash... I have put some Florasone on it, and it hasn't itched much.

My weight was 172 this morning.. my clothes are all tight.. Im going to start a new workout tomorrow.

I drank 1/2 of the 2 liter at the speed shack, but I threw the other 1/2 out there because it was so hot in that place it made my pop flat.. My girlfriend made me some chicken noodle soup with Pepsi Spice as a joke, it actually was good! I sneezed a few times, but no bloody nose and only light diarrhea.

Pepsi holiday Spice Consumed:
24 (12oz cans)
8.5(2 liters)

Health Problems Today (if any): Mild Itching Neck, Mild Diarrhea, Mild desire to molest illegal Mexican worker.

GO TARGET GO

My ass has been sore from its abuse the last few days... so I have been looking around for some comfort... Then I found what I needed.... Everyone!! Hurry to Target and get some.. CLICK HERE!

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Q & A

Q: First, thanks for your unwavering commitment to further the cause of
scientific inquiry.

Second, it's not really clear form you web sites if you're exclusively
consuming Pepsi Spice, or if you're allowed to eat solid food as you
normally did.

My sense is that you're just limiting liquid intake to Pepsi Spice (and
whatever water melts from the ice cubes), but still eat "normally."

I hope I'm right, because otherwise, I do think you're going to die.
Don't die, the planet needs all the scientists we can get.

-Steve
________
A: Im eating normal. Only my "liquid intake" is Pepsi Holiday Spice. Which may I add, gets better the more you drink.. or another spin on it... Pepsi Spice may cause brain damage so severe that it makes you think it tastes better after time.
________
Q: you should probably come up with a new image for the front page ( http://www.pepsispice.com )

while you claim to be drinking nothing but pepsi for 45 days, with no
water, the picture clearly contains a beverage that's half water (the ice!)
________
A: While I agree its misleading, the glass was actually only a shot glass with little pieces of ice.


________
Q: Learn to type! Your face looks like a sick penis!
________
A: I work in the fashion industry, not the typing industry... Im sorry my face is not better looking for you.

My Neck has grown a vagina..

Im freaking out.

My neck has been itching for a few days.. this morning it felt like I had a lump in my neck... I ran to the mirror, WHAT THE FUCK?



It looks like a ovarian cyst of some kind has grown on my neck!



So of course I do what I always do when I find a huge tumor on my neck.. I searched the internet for advice. I swear to fucking god, the internet is funded by the medical world. Because if you type in "runny nose" into the google, at least 90% of those pages returned will say you have "the aids"... (the other 10% will say I can get "the aids" from a Free Ipod)... The internet is just another tool to scare the living piss out of you.. So Yahoo medical says I most likely have either a ingown hair, Aids or cancer..

I will be asking the doc about it, if it's still there on monday...

At least I weighed in at 169 again today... so I didn't gain any weight...phew...

I have been getting a ton of email and most of its saying; "im stupid" or "im going to die"...or "you are gay", or "your face looks like a sick penis"... I cant answer all of them, but my health is being monitored by a professional.. YES! vets are doctors too.. more of a doctor then most moms, but yet we trust moms every day when we are sick..so maybe its you guys that "have faces like sick penises"!

Pepsi holiday Spice Consumed:
24 (12oz cans)
4(2 liters)

Health Problems Today (if any): Itching Neck Vagina, Mild Bloody Nose, Diarrhea.

Friday, November 19, 2004

Bathroom Talk

So I had to poo in a bowl.. as I hovered above this green salad bowl I felt about as manly as a makeup artist on Frasier... thats real gay. I then had to scoop out 3 samples into these little tubes and take it to the doctor. The doctor is going to test me for everything in the book.



I should find out the results Monday.


A side note, my doctor today was a Indian man, the kind that smell and are real smart, but not smart enough to smell better.. I wonder if he knew that guy from yesterday. That would be funny if they hung out.. an Indian and a guy from India..

even better if it was a girl from India...the Indian could live in her clothes..


My urine has been also insane... Peeing red is something no one should ever have to do.. It makes me get butterflies in my stomach, but in my balls. If you dont want to see urine on video, dont watch this quick movie I made: http://www.pepsispice.com/pepsi.wmv Im sorry I dont now how to make movies good. . but I do know how to make a scarf that is amazing. Fuck if it keeps you warm, I make amazing not warm.

I drank a whole 2 liter already today, because I have been so thirsty.. I took someone from here's advice and I have been taking baths to stay more hydrated.. but im afraid with my current condition, my bath got nasty quick. Yes, the diarrhea is still with me, and its uncontrollable, explosive, violent, and dark crimson red. At least it didnt clog the drain...back to showers.

My girlfriend the vet who has been monitoring my health wants me to stop.. I told her to fuck off and slapped her. Not hard. Just kidding I dont hit women...unless its my birthday and a friend pays for one.



Doc Doc, whos there?

So I went to a doctor.. im not one of those fancy pants that has a doctor that knows my name.. I guess my doctor visits are too full of shame for me wanting to know the guy... I just pick a urgent care place and go...in and out.. here's whats wrong, give me the prescription or the comb to kill the bug and let me be on my way.

Todays doctor was a Indian.. not a guy from India, but a real Indian.. the kind that like coyotes and camping. His breath smelled like a expired mouse trap. I briefly told him what I was doing and he just stared at me... Not saying a word.. no emotion on his face.. not even a quiet..."juicy fruit".... nadda...

I told him about the poop, sneezes, the bloody noses, the recent itching... and the Pepsi Spice Project.. He went off on food poisons, infections.. he told me to drink water.. I told him I couldn't... he just stared at me again.

He told me that was my choice.

He gave me 3 tubes, and told me to poop in them and come back the next day so they can test me for infections and worms.. He told me I shouldn't gamble with my health... I snickered because he said "gambled"...greedy Indian.

Im too tired to explain the horror of pooping in those three tubes.. I will write it in the morning...

STATS

Pepsi holiday Spice Consumed:
24 (12oz cans)
1.5 (2 liters)

Health Effects Noted (If Any): Sneezing, extreme itching on neck area..looks like dry skin.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

IM gaining weight...

Wow.. I woke up and weighed myself... im in shock.

Im up 13 pounds from a few days ago..

166 pounds... crap!...

Im drinking out of the 2 liters that the FOX news people left me.. Im now officially sick of drinking this crap. I have been having the most intense nightmares the last two nights.. I think this Pepsi Spice is really fucking me up. I have been itching my neck all morning.. It looks like a dry spot or a rash is starting. I have a doctors appointment in a few hours, because the diarrhea has returned, and im afraid of shitting myself.. that doesn't look good...

I will let you know what the doctor says.


FAQ U

I keep drinking and drinking... you can tell my body is craving water..Im almost about to polish of my second 12 pack.. axe that... im NOW drinking the last can as I write this.. I still cant believe I sneezed on the reporter.. It came up so fast I didn't have time to cover.. now that reporter thinks im some gross guy that doesn't cover his mouth when he coughs.

I got a letter that I will add to the FAQ:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q:

Hello,

I think your mission is very interesting. You say you're in fashion? Are you known for anything?

Jason Sauert
Umbato, HI
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A:

Well I originally moved out here to be a model.. I started off with nude modeling.. and then I did product modeling... I would model for companies to use my likeness... Meijers, Honda, and even Quiznos has used my likeness in the past... the one I get the biggest kick from is Half-Life... mostly because I play that game alot!

Me a few years back..

Me forever in a game..



I haven't played the new Half Life, but I heard its good.. I just wish I got paid more from that game..anyways...then one day I thought of the idea for "ShitShirts" a company that sold tshirts that you would give as gifts to guys as a joke.. after a one wash, the front of the tshirt would turn offensively gay.. logos and art with homo sayings.. like "Thundercocks" instead of "Thundercats" would now be on display on the front of the shirt.. a gag gift... you know a "Spencer Gift" .. anyways I sold the company to a Japanese woman for a ton of money, now I have my own fashion company.. I mostly only design for celebrities and dogs.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
STATS

Pepsi holiday Spice Consumed: 24 (12oz cans)

Health Effects Noted (If Any): Sneezing


Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Fox news

Today was fun! The local Fox news guys came over and filmed me and my mission.. It should be on tonight. They were amazed at the problems I have been having, so they said they were trying to get a comment from Pepsi Co.. so it might be on tomorrow night instead. They also brought over about 100 (2) liters of Pepsi Spice for their story.. I think to make it look more dramatic.. they didn't seem to like the fact that I only had 5 cans in my fridge. They also told me people were saying they had similar problems with Pepsi Spice.

I asked "what people?" and they told me I could keep the 100 (2) liters.

I almost sneezed on the reporter which was funny but I think they were mad that I didnt sneeze more...

DAY THREE: Hard Nights Sleep

I woke up around 4am, sweating and my heart was pounding.. I think I had too many Pepsi Spices..the caffeine maybe?

Im adding to my allowance of ice per 12 oz glass.. starting today I will be allowed to have 6 ice cubes instead of 3.. Im thinking that I need my Pepsi Spice colder.. maybe that will make this project easier..

My tongue isn't swollen anymore but the odd white patch still remains on my tongue.

My weight is 161 today.. that sucks... what the hell?..I started off at 153??? That seems impossible.. maybe my original weight was a pre-shit weight.. or maybe Pepsi Spice is trying to turn me into Santa like a gay Tim Allen movie.. who knows.

The sneezing returned this morning.. My first Pepsi Spice this morning came shooting out of my nose and right on my poor cats face.. I tried to just wipe my cat off with a paper towel but a little while later I noticed her face was all sticky so I had to wipe her off with a wet cloth, which caused her to claw my arms all up.. man im a mess.



Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Calm Ocean...

Wow.. my girlfriend gave me some stuff to put on my tongue.. I guess its used to stop swelling.. I didn't want to know; 'swelling of what???'..sometimes its best not to ask when you're dating a vet. Anyways..it helped alot, my tongue is almost back to normal.. As of right now, I almost feel 100% normal... Im still questioning if my numerous health concerns today had anything to do with this experiment or maybe it's just an allergic reaction to something..

embarrassing moment of the day... I went to Albertsons to get another 12 pack of Pepsi Spice, and the toilet paper I had put in my pants fell out by my shoe while I was in line..

"Sir you dropped something"

Fuck..... can this day get any worse..

Stat Update

STATS:

Pepsi holiday Spice Consumed: 14 (12oz cans)

Weight: 158 (I re-weighed myself at 815pm because I went up alot in 24 hours..I thought with all the diarrhea I would have lost weight, not gained... I guess my body isn't used to the extreme sugar intake)

Health Effects Noted (If Any): Sneezing (not recently.. maybe the fits have ended?), Bloody and Sore Nose, Diarrhea, Swollen tongue.. also my nose seems like its swollen and rashed.. most likely from the nose bleeds.

Salt+Tongue Zit=Ouch

Ohhh....



Well my girl brought me home a salt lick from the animal hospital.. BAD BAD BAD idea... I started to suck on it, but it immediately was clear that my tongue was like a fresh snail.. the salt burned it, and made it swell even more.



I'm afraid I shit my pants again a few hours ago.. I threw the boxers away since they were a cheap pair.. I put a chunk of toilet paper in my butt crack to catch any future accidents. If this keeps up I might have to get checked by a real doctor.



I spoke 2 soon..

The diarrhea has returned with full force.. Its sounds like a thunderstorm in my tummy.. or god bowling (if you're religious)... my tongue is still swollen, and the white dots seem to be bumps, like pimples on my tongue???

Update..

My tongue is starting to swell up.. im not sure why.. also because of the dye in the drink it has made my mouth and lips bright red.. Thank god im in the fashion industry.. I can get away with looking like im wearing lipstick.. my tongue also has some white markings on it.. maybe from too much sugar?



I just finished my 11th Pepsi Spice with lunch.. no diarrhea, no sneezing, no bloody noses... life is good.... except my tongue.

Arabic Gum?

My Girlfriend (the vet) told me because of all the diarrhea that I need to make sure I eat salty foods because I don't want to get dihrdrated. I guess salty foods has electrolytes in them.. Normally she said I could just drink a shitload of gatorade but since im doing this experiment I can only drink Pepsi Holiday Spice.. So she is bringing me home a salt lick from work tonight, used for horses..silly, but it should help.

I shit my pants again, I thought it was just gas... I was wrong. Im going to try to save these boxers, so I washed them in the sink.. They are $20 boxers!! Sick.. :(

I had to goto the store and buy some Imodium A-D to help with the non-stop diarrhea... I have to meet with some new clients and I cant be smelling like poopie pants.. I guess the Imodium A-D will put a cork in me..

Im kind of worried about the nose bleeds and the sneezing... I have found if I breath out of my mouth it helps me from not sneezing.. I decided not to drink any Pepsi Spice till after my meeting with the clients..

I called pepsi to ask if there was anything in the Pepsi Spice that would cause all these symptons.. he said the only thing he could think of was a spice called Arabic Gum.. I guess its what gives PHS it's "unique flavor". Need to research it some more..

Off to the store I go..

Pepsi Holiday Shits

Well I woke up a few more times last night with the diarrhea... I also had a few more bloody noses.. but whats even worse is I thought it would be cute to warm up some Pepsi Holiday Spice in the microwave to drink as a coffee replacement. Well, dont do that... It must of turned whatever chemicals that are in the pepsi bad.. because one sip tasted like what I would imagine prison cock would taste like. I instantly started sneezing, which made me shit my pants and on top of the horror I got another bloody nose. Luckily no one was home when this happened.

After the sneeze/shit fit I tossed my pants in a garbage bag and took a long shower.. What is happening to me? Maybe im just sick...maybe I got the flu.. but whats the chances of this all happening the same time im doing this experiment. I got another bloody nose when I was taking a shower.. it ran down my chest, down my leg, and into the drain.. just like a shower after a rape scene in a movie.. is Pepsi Spice raping me?


STATS:

Pepsi Holday Spice Consumed: 8 (12oz cans)

Weight: 159

Health Effects Noted (If Any): Sneezing, Bloody Nose, Diarrhea

Diarrhea Cha-Cha-Cha

Its 5am.. I woke up with a immediate need to use the restroom... I almost didn't make it. I have'nt had diarrhea in almost 5 years.. so im wondering if my sudden burst was from the Pepsi Spice. When I got back from the bathroom (note: the diarrhea was bright fluorescent red, and it lasted for about 20 mins..) I noticed blood on my pillow.. I must of had another runny nose.

Im about to finish my first 6 pack....

Im about to lay my head down to sleep...

The first day was rough.. Pepsi Holiday Spice isn't the best.. and I know when this is all over I will be hurting.. I had a bloody nose today, im guessing from the sneezing giving me a dry nose.. also my body seems sore...

STATS:

Pepsi Holday Spice Consumed: 6 (12oz cans)
Weight: 153 (will weigh in for the first time tommorow morning)
Health Effects Noted (If Any): Sneezing, Bloody Nose

Monday, November 15, 2004

The First Morning...

Well I went to sleep after my last post.. I couldn't stop sneezing, and when I did stop I just held my pillow trying not to move as I feared I would start sneezing again. I woke up and I almost forgot what I had started.. No coffee for me... no sir... just some cereal and.... oh wait.. I didn't think of that.. I guess that would be cheating having milk with my cereal... So I had a bagel and cracked opened my second can of Pepsi Holiday Spice.

I almost started sneezing again.. something in this drink must be messing with my sinuses. Odd.

This time I drank fast, as I was thirsty.. it felt like I had put a nicotine patch on my tonsils.. it almost burned my throat.




Day One: The First Taste

We'll I just had my first drink...

Maybe I should have tasted it before I decided to do this silly experiment. Its tastes like I got maced by Mrs Santa Claus.. This is going to be a long 45 days. About 1/3 into my glass I started sneezing uncontrollably.. I don't know if this had anything to do with the Pepsi Spice, but it lasted almost 35 mins.. I have to lay down before I could finish the rest of the glass.

The Pepsi Spice has a slight red color to it.. I found this out because when I was sneezing my kitchen wall looked like the camera in a movie where it turns away so the viewer doesn't see a violent bloody murder.

I guess while I lay here I should mention that this experiment does allow me to have ice cubes, 3 per 12oz can.

I also should note that im in great health, and I weighed in yesterday at a sexy 153lbs.. im guessing I will put on a few pounds from the increase of sugar in my diet.

Here is a picture of me drinking a "coke" 1 hour before I started this experiment.


Ok... I just chugged the rest of my first glass and I instantly started sneezing again... I cant stop sneezing... I will check in later when this stops, as its hard to type.


Sunday, November 14, 2004

Welcome!

Hello, and welcome to my project. Let me introduce myself... my name is Brian, and I have a mission.. to drink the new "Pepsi Holiday Spice" everyday from now, till Christmas day.. That's 45 days!! But here's the catch... I CANT drink anything else..any fluid going in body has to be Pepsi Holiday Spice.. Doesn't seem healthy does it? I guess we'll find out...

My girlfriend is a vet, so she will be monitoring my health.. yeah I know, she isn't a doctor.. but hey, its just Pepsi... right??.....

So at midnight... it shall begin.