Monday, November 29, 2004

Back on track

I always was a big fan of passing gas.. something about the relief and payout that makes for a satisfying sometimes unexpected treat. But, that was before the Pepsi Spice Project.. I have been passing more gas than a Chinese Phone Book, and its starting to effect my taste, everytime I eat something, it tastes a little bit farty. Now I know my last couple posts have been a tad odd, but I have an excuse for that.. let me explain.

A few days ago, me and my girlfriend got in a fight..and she left me without much reason except that she thought I was making fun of her fear of black people. Something I have always thought was stupid...but I guess when she was a kid a black woman molested her...and she tells me it wasn't very sexy or hot.

Like I explained a few days ago, I signed her up for a automatic wakeup call from a prerecorded rapper, Ice-T. Target offered it as a promotion for the day after Thanksgiving Shopping Day. She moved out, and as payback she bought me a robot, because she knows about my recent nightmares, and she thought it could be some kind of payback.

I joked about the robot on my blog, acting like it was combing my hair, just to show her it didn't really effect me.. but it has.. I put the robot in a storage shed Saturday night.

Anyways, a friend of mine is a plastic doctor.. he runs a trendy practice here in LA that I did some work for in the past... I created a robe for women after they had surgery. When you pay thousands of dollars on new breasts and you wakeup after surgery wearing a fabulous robe instead of a paper made joke of a robe..you feel better about your purchase...and it gives my friend the advantage over the other practices. My friend called me and we talked and I told him about my girlfriend leaving me, and how I have been having non-stop gas for the last 3 days.. He said he had the perfect cure; Medical Marijuana.

So I got this card that allows me to go to these stores here in LA and purchase marijuana legally to help me with my gas and depression problems.. but as you can tell it has also made my last couple of posts to be a bit strange...So decided to stop the marijuana for awhile and focus more on my experiment, and new ways to masturbate. A friend of mine told me that he used www.pillowhumper.com to overcome his wife leaving him.. I still haven't checked that out, but I heard it does wonders for depression.

So I guess I will have to live with the constant gas for awhile.. Leftovers are almost done, thank god.. I'm guessing old red turkey isn't helping my gas issues. Cream of mushroom soup is great with Pepsi Spice I have found.. I'm still gaining weight, I'm up to 177 pounds this morning..