Friday, November 19, 2004

Doc Doc, whos there?

So I went to a doctor.. im not one of those fancy pants that has a doctor that knows my name.. I guess my doctor visits are too full of shame for me wanting to know the guy... I just pick a urgent care place and and out.. here's whats wrong, give me the prescription or the comb to kill the bug and let me be on my way.

Todays doctor was a Indian.. not a guy from India, but a real Indian.. the kind that like coyotes and camping. His breath smelled like a expired mouse trap. I briefly told him what I was doing and he just stared at me... Not saying a word.. no emotion on his face.. not even a quiet..."juicy fruit".... nadda...

I told him about the poop, sneezes, the bloody noses, the recent itching... and the Pepsi Spice Project.. He went off on food poisons, infections.. he told me to drink water.. I told him I couldn't... he just stared at me again.

He told me that was my choice.

He gave me 3 tubes, and told me to poop in them and come back the next day so they can test me for infections and worms.. He told me I shouldn't gamble with my health... I snickered because he said "gambled"...greedy Indian.

Im too tired to explain the horror of pooping in those three tubes.. I will write it in the morning...


Pepsi holiday Spice Consumed:
24 (12oz cans)
1.5 (2 liters)

Health Effects Noted (If Any): Sneezing, extreme itching on neck area..looks like dry skin.