Friday, December 10, 2004

To Kill a Mocainebird

So last night Lindsay ended up doing most of the mocaine she brought over. I just finished my last 2 liter, and decided to skip the mocaine for health reasons. Mocaine's (which is mushrooms and cocaine grounded together) buzz starts off with a sudden burst of energy, followed by an intense trip. Its like talking to Jesus while skydiving... but Jesus is strapped to your back, and you feel kind of gay.

So Lindsay immediately started talking about her new cd. I started to feel violently ill from all the pepsi spice I had drank. Lindsay (skydiving with Jesus) thought I was making fun of her music when I was complaining of feeling ill. I told her over 42 times it was from drinking too much Pepsi Spice, but she wouldn't listen. She started screaming at me, so I did what most fashion designers would do. I listened.

She said that Pepsi had paid for the new cd. It was a silent donation to produce her album, and create her new "product". She was to become a music star, and Pepsi would pay for it all. In return Pepsi would be given full use of her in future marketing.. Lindsay said they did it with Britney, Justin, and even Hoobastank. Unfortunately, Hoobastank was passed down to the RC cola corporation with huge a financial loss for Pepsi. RC reportedly "shelved" the use of Hoobastank for the time being.

Lindsay said there was extreme pressure from Pepsi to succeed.

Thats when I put it all together.. Lindsay coming to me out of the blue to design clothing for animal charities wasn't just a fluke, it was planned. Pepsi sent her.

I talked to Lindsay for about five hours.. she had alot of mocaine, and I was high on spice and confusion. She told me that Stacy was paid by his friend and president of Javalamps design group, Douglas Stanhope. Javalamps was a young company, but with one huge client, Pepsico. They paid Stacy so I would take his $1000 bet. They thought it would be a clever way to market their new cola, a underground urban way. Make a website with a goofy fashion designer drinking Pepsi Spice for 45 days.. what they didn't factor in, was me becoming sick. The Fox news interview wasn't a fluke either, it was also set up so they could deliver me free Pepsi Spice and market the product on network television. I guess most of FOX news now is one form of product placement or another, mostly laxative and paper companies. The CNN interview on the other hand, just picked up the story because they saw me on Fox.

They sent Lindsay to me, so I would write about her, so people would talk about my site.. so people would talk about Pepsi Spice, and even talk about Lindsay Lohan.

She let me squeeze her tits for awhile, and then I asked Lindsay to leave.


I know about everything!.. I thought it was odd when Stacy bet me to drink Pepsi Spice for 45 days, and then designed this website for me, and gave me a domain name that should of been taken. But im going to win that bet, and im not going to lie about any of my horrible results... Thats right Pepsi, Stacy, and FOX news.. I will continue this experiment... till death do me part.